Sex, Drugs, & Heart
As a reader I’ve always been drawn to gritty works. The grittier the better, is my motto generally. Give me dingy dysfunction and I’ll greedily gobble it down—no crumbs left behind. I love the glimpse into the darker sides of life, the rawness that comes with learning people's most shadowy secrets.
While we all know better than to discuss religion or politics at the dinner table, it’s not unusual, right after being seated, for me to jump to, “So what kind of fucked up childhood did you have?”
With people I feel comfortable around I might ask that question outright but other times, like when out to dinner with an acquaintance or someone new, it lingers internally and I find myself looking for clues. How do they respond to being interrupted? What’s their reaction if their steak comes medium rare instead of well-done? What kind of psychopath am I dealing with to be ordering well-done to begin with?
I’ll never forget the first time I met my now adopted son—seven years ago at the Children and Youth building in Pottsville, Pennsylvania when he was 11 years old. My wife and I had made the 7 hour drive a week after Easter to meet him and were given the opportunity to take him out to lunch. Sitting across from him at the Subway close by, without having to ask one single question at all, we learned so much about what his childhood hardships were just from observing him.
It’s my belief that we all as humans are broken in some way. No one is immune. It’s the discovery of that brokenness that captivates me the most.
When I write, it’s only natural for me to want to write about trauma, because so much of life, especially childhood, can be, but I feel strongly about balancing that with heartwarming moments and humor.
Do you remember the movie Where The Heart Is with Natalie Portman in it? It’s based on a book by Billie Letts, but I think more people have seen the movie. Even if it’s a very old comp, it’s one I’ve always compared my book to. There’s so much heartbreak in the story Billie Letts wrote—dark topics like domestic abuse, surviving narcissistic parents, poverty, and childhood sexual abuse. But there’s so many gritty light moments that give you a chance to exhale and laugh. I’m thinking particularly of the scene where the older Christian lady, Sister Husband, is praying over dinner with her found family and says, “Dear Lord, we ask that you bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. And we ask forgiveness, Lord, for the fornication that Mr. Sprock and me committed this morning on this very table"
If you’ve seen the movie or read the book, I’m sure you remember that part. It’s quite memorable, especially because it’s unexpected coming from a religious character, and a bit scandalous.
Anyway, this is what I love in a story. It’s what I’m always looking for when I browse at the bookstore or click through Netflix—storytelling that is the perfect mix of grit, humor, heart, real topics, and psychological insight that I’m hopeful I now too can provide to readers over many years to come.
